Bringing out the big guns

Before you ask, yep, the blueheaded lunatic in red scarf is me, myself. I had been modeling and gotten an extreme makeover on my personal roof. End of story.

It's springish and I am bringing out my trusted Batracer. A black bolt of lightning that sends tremors all the way to China when I rev the engine and hear it's apathic lion-roar! Crowned with two faded blood-red stickers of AC/DC's logo and more attitude than a spoiled teenager in a stolen car.

And with my awesome ride comes road rage from a whole other world! You might tell me rally-racers have guts, or that drifters or underground-racers are brave. I'll tell you as much, son, we two-wheeled brothers of pure hardcore zooming around on our motorized stools have got the biggest HUEVOS you can imagine! How else would we deal with everyday lifethreatening situations? You can sit in your hum-vee, the size of a small house, and feel safe as an armoured turtle, while I get more of a face-on interaction with other vehicles. It's when you can see the white in the eyes the drivers around you you have the most absurd experiences. Like when I was sit-dancing on my way home to "I'm so excited" (yes, absurdely hetero-sexual of me) and I get passed by a family of five that applaud me through open windows.

The most hilarious thing I have ever seen, however, was when I was holding a steady 50 km/h (my insanely high top-speed) and get passed by a red sedan. This might seem uneventful, so I will add that this car had been stuck behind me for a while. Then, as I look over to who was passing me, as I usually do, I see a wrinkly old face, two thin lips pressed hard together, and a wrinkly middle finger raised in my general direction . Yes, I got flipped off by an old woman passing me...

I have never been the same.

So have mercy and show a little respect for scooter-drivers. We deal with a lot of random things daily. A lot.